Dear Daughter,
I know you have heard this before, but here is a link to the story about my first week away from home when I went to Rick's College (now known as BYU Idaho). Read it some time, if you want, when you are absolutely bored (My First Week of College).
I won't lie to you. What you are doing is really hard and will test both your resolve and your abilities. May I share with you some of the things I learned as I blundered my way through college?
I don't know if you remember how hard my first year was for me, but when the end of the first semester rolled around, I was failing most of my classes and had to do some fast talking and make some personal arrangements with some of my professors so I could get a passing grade in those classes.
In chemistry, for example, I explained to my professor that I was learning the material, but not quickly enough to pass any of the tests which preceded the final. Because my lab work and homework were solid, I was able to convince him to give me whatever grade I achieved on the final as my grade for the course.
In that instance I got the high grade in the class and aced the exam. No one else in the class got 100% and that fact alone was the only reason he believed I hadn't cheated. I had answered a couple of questions no one else in the class had answered correctly. But I'll tell you truthfully, I was sweating bullets as I reported that day to take my chemistry final. So much was riding on the results of that day.
In the end, my professor gave me a B+ rather than an A because he didn't think I should have a grade that was higher than those in his class who did well on the other tests he had given. I took the grade he offered without complaining because I knew he was right. He thought I was blowing smoke when I originally brought my offer to him and was sure I would fail the final like all of the other tests he had given me that semester. But I was telling the truth when I explained to him that I was learning the material, and so, when I got the high grade in the class, it threw him completely off balance and he didn't know what to do with me.
In calculus, I made arrangements to study a little longer and then retake the tests I'd failed. My calculus teacher felt responsible for my failing grade and therefore opened his office to me and tutored me individually until I understood. Then, when I retook those tests, I aced them too. But, in that class, make-up tests were only worth 75% credit, so I got a C+ in calculus...not an A. Again, I was okay with that and grateful for the passing grade.
Anyway, that semester I got two A's (physics and I had a basketball class), one B+ (chemistry), and all of the rest of my classes were C's.
If you find yourself in a similar position, that's okay...especially your first semester. College is harder than high school and more will be expected of you. I simply wasn't ready for college when my first semester began. There is no shame in this...at least I don't feel any. I got straight A's in high school, but high school failed to prepare me fully for college. Just hang in there and keep trying. Oh, and if this happens to you, please talk with your professors and see if something can be worked out.
My second semester I did much better. Not that my grades were any better. I was still earning mostly B's and C's, but I did it that time without the make-up tests and special arrangements which were required the first go around.
May I give you a little advice and share with you some of the wisdom I learned as I went to college? Much of the advice I will share with you was learned the hard way...through experience. If you will take this advice seriously, many of the difficulties I experienced my first semester of school can be avoided. Please consider what follows carefully as you begin your classes.
99% of all success in life goes to those who simply show up and do their best. You have already showed up and I know you will do your best. So, these things don't worry me about you at all. Ultimately you will succeed at whatever you put your mind to. I've seen you set and achieve amazing goals. You have already proved that you can do hard things. But our best can sometimes be better than it otherwise would be if we just had a little inside knowledge and foresight. I offer that to you now.
Success isn't a function of luck or any other thing. Luck invariably follows those who show up and are willing to try new things. These lucky individuals are simply in the right place at the right time possessing the right knowledge and skills to recognize and take advantage of the opportunities which naturally present themselves to those who are really trying to make something of themselves and their lives.
We all secure our own luck by the decisions we make, and we can break the pattern of luck when we are too timid or lazy to show up. Failing to commit and make decisions is deciding, but likely will not put us on a path which intersects with luck very often. Lucky people control their lives and don't allow life to control them.
You strike me as someone who will be very lucky in both love and life.
Keep trying. Your lucky break is, perhaps, just around the corner and if not, hang in there, it's on the way.
Some people think that the successful are naturally ultra-talented. While in some cases this may be true, for the vast majority of cases this is not true either. To be honest, the whole premise seems suspect to me. Most success stories are about ordinary people who are simply in the right place at the right time who, because they are trying, recognize opportunities those around them miss. So, keep showing up and keep trying and all the while you are waiting for your lucky break to come along, you will be developing the talents and abilities which will enable you to more effectively take full advantage of any opportunities which come your way. Opportunities can be big or small. Take full advantage of all of them you can.
Oh, and by the way, most ultra-talented people aren't born that way but acquire their talents over time by simply showing up and doing their best. The Beatles, for example, practiced and performed together for nearly a decade playing dives in Germany and throughout Europe before they got their first big recording contract...their big break.
Many of their performances at this time were in very small venues and to just a handful of people. But they went ahead with these performances anyway because they knew that they were honing their skills so that when an opportunity did come along, they could take full advantage of it. They made their own luck.
Their goals were long range and transcended any single performance. They were wise enough to recognize that those innumerable low paying performances throughout Europe would, one day, facilitate their lucky big break.
Child proteges and geniuses are for the most part, a myth. Genius is cultivated and talent is nurtured.
Successful people are also not afraid to ask questions and recognize that not knowing something is okay and a temporary condition. And because no one person can know all things, successful people seek to be in with and around people who, most of the time, will be smarter than they are in at least some things. This does not intimidate successful people.
Successful people recognize that the sincere friendships they forge provide both the happiness and encouragement everyone needs to be successful and that pooled resources and knowledge will always tip the scales in their favor and become greater than the sum of things taken into account separately. There is simply a certain synergy in dynamic groups which transcends the talents and resources of individuals working alone...even when those individual contributions are pooled.
So find some good friends and join or form study groups together. Learn to laugh together as you study and play together. This is really important for the courses which challenge you most. Don't forget that successful people surround themselves with smart people and let others shine in those areas where they are brilliant.
Also, one more time, it's okay if you don't know something. This is temporary. And asking questions is not a sign of weakness and doesn't mean you are dumb but is a sign of strength and indicates a determined form of intelligence and wisdom stronger than any natural aptitudes or abilities could ever hope to be. So go ahead and get all of your questions answered, even if you have to ask more than once or more than one person.
Another inaccuracy that some people who consider themselves less lucky than others are apt to perpetuate is that some people are more blessed than they are. These people believe that God has endowed some with more talents, abilities, and blessings than they have been given. This is, at best, a half truth.
The biggest purveyor of these sorts of half truths is Satan. He wants nothing more than to create jealousy and envy and to use these feelings to create a spirit of resentment and bitterness in those who succumb to these lies.
He loves to tell half truths because they can be used as wedges to dislodge us from our faith. They are, after all, partially true and can be twisted into sounding right. The Holy Ghost should be your guide especially when something sounds or looks right but doesn't feel right (Moroni 7:15-19). Another sure way to unmask a half truth is to recognize that they cause us to think or feel things which lead us away from our heavenly father, our families, or obstruct us from reaching our righteous goals.
But the perception that some people are more blessed than others is half true so I will try to explain things as I understand them.
First and foremost, God blesses all of his children with spiritual gifts (D&C 46:11). And because we don't all have the same gifts or even the same number of gifts (D&C 46:12), it can appear, because of the gifts that God has given a particular individual, that this individual is more talented or blessed than we are, especially when those gifts posessed by such a person are highly prized by society or very visible and public in nature.
Don't think that just because your gifts are different, not prized by some of your peers, or are less visible in their nature, that they are unimportant or of lesser value. This is also a lie that Satan will try to tell you. Reject it.
Your gifts and talents are vital to your success and through using them in the service of others, are vital to their success as well. Cherish your gifts and talents and nurture and share them and they will lead you precisely to the place you need to be for your life to unfold according to God's plan for you.
Anytime we allow this to happen we will be amazed at how well things work out and God's hand will be plainly manifest as we realize that far more than mere coincidence is at work in our lives. And the calm assurance that God is firmly in control will confirm our faith allowing us to trust Him further and more completely. And thus our faith is strengthened and grows as we nurture it through our service in administering our talents and gifts to others.
So, what in our minds looks as if God has blessed some people more than us is, in reality, simply God blessing them differently than us. Besides, if God gave us all the same gifts, many of the gifts we now enjoy in the community of saints and in society at large would be missing and we would all be the poorer for it (Scriptural Listing of Spiritual Gifts: D&C 46:8-27; Moroni 10:8-18; I Corinthians 12:4-11). God's wisdom exceeds our own in every way, so trust Him and that He got it right, and He will partner with you in helping you develop your gifts and talents.
Keep in mind that if we are faithful in developing those gifts that God has given us that our gifts will be magnified and added to. But if we neglect or hide our gifts, they will be taken from us and given to someone who has been more faithful than we have been (Matthew 25:14-30).
Also, are we not commanded in the scriptures to seek out the best gifts (I Corinthians 12:31;
D&C 46:8)? It sounds to me like God is willing to help us get those gifts we desire that we have not yet been given. But developing these additional gifts will likely require our dedicated effort and may not come naturally to us at first.
So, when we see someone who has achieved success, even though our first inclination is to believe that they were blessed with that success and that it came naturally and easily to them, we would be wise to consider instead what sacrifices and preparation preceded that success rather than feel the jealousy and envy that those who can't fathom such things often feel. You can achieve similar things. All you need to do is put your mind to it and pay the price required to prepare yourself for that success.
So consider carefully what is most important to you and set your course well. Storms will come and try to blow you far from your intended course. Make corrections as necessary and stay the course. When you get discouraged or are afraid, take a deep breath and remember why you are doing what you are doing and remember that you aren't ever really alone.
Call out to your heavenly father and open your heart and life to Him in prayer. Plead with Him for His guidance and protection (Alma 34:17-27; D&C 112:10). I promise He will be there for you to guide and direct and calm and comfort, and yes, to bless you with everything you need to be successful. The more you release the tiller of your life into His hand, the more successful your life will become. God is always able to make more of our life than we could ever achieve on our own.
You see, the other true part of the half truth about God blessing some people more than others is that He does bless some people more than others. It is, simply put, much easier for God to bless those who try and who exercise faith in Him than those who don't or who give up (D&C 130:20-21). God reserves His greatest blessings for those who try to follow his plan and keep His commandments. So, if some of the blessings we desire are not yet ours, it isn't because God is unfair or loves us less but likely means that our life is off course and needs correction. We all have the power to correct and change our course through the atonement.
That His children receive an education is consummately important to our Heavenly Father and is one of the only things we take with us from this life when we die (D&C 130:18-19). Any education you get here will enrich your life now, and give you an advantage in the life to come. The glory of God, after all, is intelligence (D&C 93:36). So, get all of it you can during this time God has given you to advance your formal education and it will bless you throughout this life and beyond.
I love you very much and am so proud of you. Know that our hopes and desires go with you as you go out into the world. We yearn for your success. I can't help but think that God felt similar feelings for you the day He released you into our care. As always you are in our thoughts and prayers. May God bless and protect and advance you in all your righteous desires.
Love,
Dad.
No comments:
Post a Comment