When I turned twenty one I was just starting school at BYU (Brigham Young University). My plan was to live at home and spare the expense of living away. This, I thought, would allow me to put the money I would have spent on rent toward a car. To me this sounded logical and reasonable, but this way of thinking went contrary to the way my dad thought about things. He was very old-school and counseled me to stay out of debt for anything other than a home. I considered what he said and then decided to buy the car anyway.
He argued his views constantly and even drove me to the car dealership the day I purchased my car, hoping to use the time alone with me to dissuade me from making the purchase. As I entered the dealership alone, he waited for me in his car, likely praying that I would make the right choice. When I finally returned after making the purchase it really shocked him. He was convinced that when it came time to buy the car that I would come to my senses and see things his way.
When I told him I had completed the purchase he didn't get mad or tell me I had made the wrong choice, but I could tell that the purchase upset him. It was the second time I had done something contrary to his will in directing my own life as an adult. The first time was when I decided to go to school and live away from home for a time before my mission (My First Week of College). The independence I began exercising probably was new for him and I think he handled it the best he could. But even so, he was unable to hide his disappointment completely when he felt I was making a bad decision.
He later told me that the reason he was so worried about my choice to purchase a car was that he feared that on my wages I would find myself backed into a corner financially and that I would be unable to support such a great debt and go to school at the same time.
Looking back on that experience I can see the wisdom in what he was trying to teach me. With the benefit of hindsight, augmented by the experiences life has taught me since that time, I would do things differently now. I wouldn't do what my father was suggesting at that time (he wanted me to live away from home at school), but, I wouldn't buy a new car either. I'd content myself with a used car at a fraction of the cost of buying new.
As it turned out, my father's fears were prophetic and just a couple months after the warranty period ended, my car broke down and needed a major repair. I felt helpless and foolish as I assessed my situation. Just as my father had predicted, I had no money for the repair because all of my money went toward paying the expenses school demanded. I dreaded the thought of my father finding out about my predicament. Obviously, I couldn't ask him for the help I needed, and when he finally did find out about the car and it's problems, he didn't offer.
It's not that my father was cold and incapable of empathy. He simply felt that my interests would be better served if he let me struggle with my choices alone as any other adult would have to do. I see great wisdom in his choice to not rescue from my decisions and am grateful for the lessons I've learned as I've struggled through my problems. But at that time, had he offered, I would have accepted his help, as I saw no other way forward.
There was a misunderstanding with the car dealership where they thought they had been authorized to complete the repairs but I hadn't at anytime given my consent. But regardless, because the repairs had been made on the car, they refused to release it to me until I had made payment in full. So there I was without a way to get to school (fifteen miles away), or work (twelve miles away) because I had lost the use of my car.
I remember sitting on my bed wondering how I would get out of the mess I'd made for myself when I looked around at my room and decided that although I couldn't do anything about my car at that moment, I could clean my room. Then, I did something that even for me was a little unusual...I decided to organize my sock drawer. Honestly, who does that? It's nothing I'd ever felt compelled to do before. But there I was, emptying out my sock drawer so that I could neatly restock it with socks organized by color and type.
As I got the last few socks out of the drawer, I saw an envelope which had been pushed up against the back. Curious about its contents, I removed it, and examined it carefully. I had no idea who put it there and when I opened it, I found a thick stack of money in small denominations. I counted it out and to my astonishment, found the amount totalled almost precisely what I needed to pay for my car and get it back into my possession.
I took the money and raced to tell my father what I had found. Then, just as I was rounding the corner at the top of the stairs, I was stopped dead in my tracks by a thought which came to me powerfully. The thought was not my own, but placed there. The power of that thought caused me to stop running and pause. Every other thought and feeling I was experiencing was suspended while this one, singular thought forcefully impressed itself upon my consciousness. And the thought was simply this...that God had blessed my with what I needed at that time because I had always faithfully paid my tithing.
I do very few things well and even fewer things perfectly. But, tithing is one of those things I have always done from the time I was a small child. I never miss paying my tithing. I've always done that one thing perfectly. For those of you who don't know what tithing is, it is ten percent of all income which is given to the Lord to serve his purposes.
The blessings of tithing are great. The very windows of heaven are opened on our behalf when we keep that commandment (Malachi 3:8-12).
I have no idea where that money came from that day. But whatever the source, because of the experience I had at the top of the stairs, I know God had a hand in placing that money in my drawer.
The fact that the amount was so closely aligned with my needs indicates that whoever placed the money there was mindful of me and was personally aware of my needs and circumstance. Looking back, I suspect that my father or mother likely put the money there, although neither of them ever claimed responsibility nor did they ever even hint that they had played a role in the good fortune of that day.
God often inspires good people who are willing to do His will placing thoughts and feelings within them which lead them in accomplishing His purposes. That others are involved does not diminish the fact that God was the author of the blessing I received that day.
No comments:
Post a Comment